Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize