I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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