I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
