DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
