I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
