I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
