He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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