Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So gin and wine won't be happening again
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
