You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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