I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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