just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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