His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
