yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize