she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
