and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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