Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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