Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
