SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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