Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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