I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
