So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
