Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
