You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
