Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
