My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize