Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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