Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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