My room smells like vodka and shame
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
