so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I licked your asshole in confidence.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize