The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you had me at cake vodka
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
