I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
