After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
