I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize