When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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