3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize