she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
