He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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