A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
