mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
