Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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