its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
