i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize