i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
