i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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