yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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