o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
