She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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