She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize