Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
