hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He passed out mid-signature
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
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