I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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