So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
false alarm, still single
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
