One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
