8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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