worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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