i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
