i think i have herpe
just one?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
