either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize