That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
