I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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