you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
