This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
